Who would be in your wedding?

Don't be fooled by the title, I'm single and not wedding planning...

I heard an interesting talk a few months ago about "Who would be in your wedding" and it's something I've thought as it relationships and how relationships change. In a nutshell, if you were planning your wedding who would be standing-up on your side...Family, close friends, co-workers or simply acquaintances? Do we ask people because we really care about their friendships or out of obligation? "Well, I was in person x's wedding so I need to ask them to be in mine." Weddings can be political with who to ask and family obviously come first, that's not my point...

Guys probably don't think about weddings nearly as much as girls, but after the talk I thought about my relationships and how they've changed. A few years ago, my wedding party would be quite different than if you asked me today. Some friends are more short-term and only in your life for some reason for a brief time. And lately I've felt some friendships drift away. God has brought people into my life (both Christians and non-Christians) over the past few years and it's cool. I continue to realize I'd rather have a few closer friends who genuinely care about my friendship, want me around and enjoy my company, versus tons of friends or people who are just fitting me in their schedule.

Wow, Is Gas Cheap!?!

I remember back in the mid/late 1990's, I'd be in Europe shocked at how much gas cost. It was about $1/gallon in the US and close to $4/gallon in Europe at the time. We all know the cost of gas has gone the record highs, who would have thought $4 or $4.50 for a gallon of gas in the US. (Europe at the high was over $8/gallon)...

After paying over $4/gallon, gas seems so cheap right now. As low as $2.59/gallon for regular. 2 years ago I would have thought that was pricey, but now it's seems so reasonable. Crazy how my expections have changed now. The impact of the extra $1-1.50/gallon adds up and it struck me recently as I was filling up. I was spending at least $15-20 more per week, but I did cut back in my driving a little bit. Anyways, hopefully the gas prices continue to decline or remain constant and our economy returns to some normal level again.

Quality, Not Quantity

Have you ever been to one of those restaurants that gives you tons of food that isn't very good, but it's really cheap? Sometimes quality is worth paying a little extra for. That analogy will make sense shortly...

I was reading a book lately and one of the questions it asked was are you seeking more alone time or more group/relationship time? I would have answered the question differently a few years ago than now. I've been feeling more alone lately and seeking more group/relationship time. Friends are dating, getting married, having kids, moving, changing jobs/careers and those all impact relationships, which are all normal parts of life. But here's the thing, when I was in college or even my early/mid 20's, I was always doing stuff and had lots of relationships but so many of them weren't healthy. I continued to invest in relationships that continued to bring me down or were just unhealthy...Ok, going back to my earlier analogy, I'm now seeking quality friendships/relationships not quantity. I'd rather have a few closer friends that I don't always get to see but I know care about me, than 20-30 surface relationships. A wise friend once told me you should be able to count your close friends on 2 hands, more than that could be too much unless you have time for all of them.

So what does this mean? Not sure yet, it'll be another interesting ride of life.

Loyalty....

I tend to be a pretty loyal person, whether it's products or people. It takes a lot for me to give-up even if a product or person fails me. Someone told me recently that it's a "Midwest" thing....Maybe it's a) regional, b) skewed by marketing or c) just how I am or try to be. I'm on my 3rd Lexus, try to fly Northwest, rent cars from Avis and stay at Hiltons. Maybe I'm a creature of habit and my 8 years working in advertising the culprit. The reality is I found products that are consistent and don't let me down. And when they do let me down, the brand stands behind their product and ensure the customer walks away happy. Brands often offer loyalty programs to recognize their customers and reward their customers for using their brand. Of course not all brands, but the good ones do.

Loyalty with people is often different than with a product...When Northwest cancels/delays my flight it sucks, but it's a temporary frustration and not personal. If a friend does something that disappoints/frustrates me, it can hurt whether intentional or not. I try to be loyal to friendships during the ups/downs of life. I often wonder if I wasn't so loyal to some friendships, would the disappointment or hurt be minimized. Is there a point when loyalty goes too far; should loyalty be a 2-way street? If I'm loyal to a friend and there when they need something, shouldn't it work the same for me? In the end, maybe we all think of loyalty in a different way and that's the simplest explanation....

Wanted: A Reliable Contractor

Becoming a homeowner has made me wonder, do reliable contractors exist? Of course there are a few, but how do you find a the needles in a haystack? In no other industry could you run a business the way most contractors do: "I'll be there between 8am and 5pm" or "Between 8am and 1pm." If I told my clients that, I wouldn't be employed so how can contractors be so laid back and people tolerate it? I understand things can come up, but how often does a contractor call when they are running late? As bad as airlines can be, they provide some updates when there are delays.

They are often providing a specialized service that someone needs or some emergency with the furnace, plumbing, electrical that a typical homeowner can't fix on their own. So we often have to tolerate the lack of professionalism, unpredictable schedules and even being overcharged b/c it's an urgent problem. Why do we allow it? Even more amazing is contractors coming inside with muddy shoes, leaving lights on when they leave, turning up your heat, making a mess and not cleaning up or even eating your food. Everything just mentioned has happended to me, but I'm sure some of this is not uncommon.

If a contractor was reliable and showed up when said they would in range of 1-2 hours (and guaranteed it), treated the homeowner's house like their own and responsive to phone calls, they would have people waiting in line for them.....and cost becomes a minor issue. Until then, I've decided to inform future contractors I expect them to show up when they are supposed to or I'll deduct money from their bill given I'm having to take time off. I might irritate quite a few people in the process, but eventually I'll find a reliable contractor.

2007 and a look at 2008

As the new year comes, most make resolutions....everything from joining a gym, losing 20 pounds, stop smoking, driving your car less, spend more time with friends or going to church more often. The gyms are usually pretty full in the first few weeks of January and then seem to thin out. Do we make resolutions that are attainable and actionable, or just stuff that sounds good? I thought about this and decided to reflect back on 2007 and some things to ponder for 2008...

- When you hire someone for a project, there are 3 main factors: reaonably priced, reliable and does good work....You need 2 of the 3, being cheap doesn't always work out.

- Some friendships are meant to last a lifetime, while others are only in your life for a short period of time. Other friendships are put in your life for a reason.

- Appearances are deceiving, yet we often judge people on them. Get to know someone first, before throwing stones.

- If you don't like your job, spend time looking for a new one....Only you can help yourself.

- If you want to see the world, see it while you're young and don't wait for retirement.

- If the first thing you do is check the pricetag, you're missing out on a lot. Sometimes paying a few bucks more is worth it.

- Things happen for a reason (good or bad) and we often don't know why, but the bad things help make our lives stronger.

- People are human and will always let you down even when they try not to, it happens.

- Sometimes the decisions you make instantly are just as good as the ones that take days/weeks to make.

- If you live where snow falls, invest in either a good snowblower or plow service.

Road Trips and Europe

I've been travelling a lot for work, but vacations are one of the benefits of why you work and time to re-charge. Last month was a pretty cool month for vacations...Road tripping around northern California with David and then Europe for 11 days with my mom...

Road trips with friends are always interesting and how it goes often reflects that friendship. You're with your friend(s) in close quarters and for longer periods of time....Generally, either the friendship becomes stronger or you can't wait for the road trip to end. In my case, it was such a cool trip on so many levels and our friendship continues to grow. So....almost 400 miles in 3 days we covered a lot of ground...Carmel, Monterary, 17-mile drive, gaming it up at Dave & Busters in San Jose, experiencing Fernet, creating the "czar" shot, lunch at Boudin in SF, hiking through Muir Woods, chillin in Sausalito and dinner at Little Star in SF...It was such a cool trip on so many levels and our friendship continues to grow....

Europe was also a good trip. This year we went to London, Barcelona, Budapest and Amsterdam....London is always one of my favorites, but of course when in London so does the rain. Our dollar was really weak all over Europe, but especially in London against the GB Pound. When it costs $9 for a value meal at McDonald's, something is wrong...It was great to be back in Spain and getting to use my Spanish again. It's such a cool place for archetiture. Budapest was very dissapointing and I was expecting more. This was our first time in Eastern Europe and let's just say it's much different from the western parts...As a former Soviet property, the country is still facing economic problems. It's very dirty and poor, with very little English spoken. I guess I was expecting a little more basic English in high tourist spots and at the hotel. We were sold the wrong subway pass (no one spoke English) and were fined $30 each...Just paid the fine, I can't imagine Hungarian jail being very nice. People say how rude people in Paris are (personally, I think the people there are not rude based on experiences), but let me tell you if you think Paris is rude you won't like Budapest very much. Where shop keepers and hotels complain about how poor their country is, you think they would be very nice to any tourists...Yes, there were a few exceptions but I'm not rushing to go back there anytime soon...

We'll see where 2008 takes me...